Autism · Divorce

Autism? What’s Autism ?

My eldest son was diagnosed with Aspergers in 2011 at the age of 7 years old, I was relieved but also shocked, I spent most of my pregnancy feeling very unwell and carried the biggest bottle of gaviston every where I went, just as I started to feel better “will “was born, after a long and difficult labour, even so I was absolutely besotted with him and was overwhelmed by the love I felt for him.

From the off there were lots of difficulties,but I put it down to being a new parent, feeding problems, sleeping issues, excessive reflux,were to name just a few, and our first night time visit to the children’s ward was a month after he was born,bang on Christmas.

This was a taste of things to come, “will” was assigned a paediatric consultant,and the monthly appointments started.

As my beautiful baby started to grow and develop he was plagued with problems but with no answers as to why, from birth to the age of 6 years old, we visited a number of hospitals to see numerous consultants, but with no answers to my questions, “why will he not eat”” why is he hard to settle”” why does he scream when I leave him” “why is his focus on the same toys all the time” “why does he study his hands with intense concentration” I’d never noticed other children looking at their hands like that.

within this space of time myself and the boys father divorced which added additional pressure as their dad ceased all contact with the boys ,so therefore leaving me with little support emotionally and financially.

Basingstoke, Southampton,Great Ormond Street, were places we became firmiliar with, but were given few answers.

Until Will was referred to a deititian who referred him to a child psychologist regarding his phioba with food, our first consultation with Dr Ana was a combination of talking to Will ,observing his behaviour and gathering information from myself, on leaving appointment Dr Ana commented “What a special boy you have ” beaming I replied “thank you I know”

The months that followed were challenging and extremely emotional, Dr Ana was made redundant by the local health authority, but had made significant progress with will and felt he was building a trusting relationship with her, so one this basis i decided to use my recent financial settlement from my divorce to pay private , and travel to Harley Street  London to continue Wills treatment, after the two initial appointments Dr Ana discussed Wills issues and informed me that in her opinion there were under lying issues ,that would of been there even if myself and Wills father had stayed together,

My financial settlement was used to fund the diagnosis,so I could access help and support for Will.

Sat on the train with the diagnosis in my hand I looked at the first section of the report and saw the diagnosis of “Autism ” Aspergers , WHAT ! Will, isn’t autistic, children who are Autistic ars normally in wheelchairs and can’t speak, there must be a miss understanding, I tried to blink back the tears ,looking around the train to see if anyone had noticed the utter shock and confusion on my face, nope no one had noticed at all.

As the weeks passed I slowly came to terms with what had happened, and in lots of ways I felt relief that someone had answered all of my questions and I now had the answers I longed for, I felt sad that my child was living in a very different world to mine and that I didn’t really understand his somewhat ┬ástrange ways and thoughts but most of all I was devastated that I probably would never truly understand him like I did the other two boys,that was a horrible thought.






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I told you to go to bed


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